Wanted: animal control

Every time I step out of the house and see the neighborhood wandering around like the streets are their own backyard I get a little bit peeved. No, they don't run after people barking, with teeth bared, so that isn't an issue. But they do enough to drive me bonkers!

They mate in the middle of the street and if a car is coming by ... sorry, driver, but you will have to wait until they're done.

They SLEEP in the middle of the street. Again, if a car comes down the road they just raise their head and seem to say to themselves, "What is that bright light coming towards me?" They still don't move, by the way. You have to honk at them and flash your lights at them to wake them up. And THEN, they move languidly and make you wait several minutes for them to get out of the way.

What really gets my dander up, though, is that it seems like all the neighborhood decided to make the front of our house their public restroom. More than any other house on our street, when going to our house you need to be very careful 'lest you find your foot in something squishy and stinky. No matter what time of the day (or night), someone's is making a deposit at our place. And what REALLY gets my dander up is sometimes, I will SEE the owner WITH THE while IT is making its deposit! Hello! Make a mess at your own place, thank you! I don't shit at your place, don't shit on mine! Why can't he do his business in front of your house instead? At the very least, please pick up the fertilizer your pet left behind. Use it on your plants if you want or throw it in the bin, I don't care, just don't leave it HERE!

And that's just the ... let me get to the now. The neighborhood are neater. They don't do their business on the street. They actually enter our little garden in front, hide behind the hedges, and make their contributions there. It wouldn't be so bad since the plants need the fertilizer anyway, but ... with so many making contributions, our frontage now gives off an uninviting smell.

Between the two it is embarrassing to invite people over. People might think we don't keep a clean house or that we let our pets run amok. The irony is ...we don't have any pets except fish! Our frontage smells like a kennel and we don't even own any quadrupeds!

Many times my dad and I have discussed using his slingshot and targeting any animal that stops in front of the house and positions itself to defecate, whether its owner is with it or not. So far we haven't gotten around to it, but it is definitely something we seriously want to do. Another idea, which I am all for by the way, is to hose them down when they approach. That way the porch gets cleaned, too.

I keep telling myself I will treat our frontage to a vinegar and water bath to serve as a deterrent to pets --- the vinegar and water erases their scent from the area --- but I just haven't gotten around to it yet. Need to buy a stiff brush with a handle, too. I will find the time over the weekend (I hope) and I will keep my fingers crossed that it will work. Sigh.

In my opinion, though, it isn't the animals that need the control but the owners, for letting them run amok. Can I have them arrested for negligence?