unsettled and confused

I'm confused. You blow hot and cold on me. Sometimes you are so friendly in a chummy kind of way. I don't mind that. Then at times you get all aloof and it seems like you look through and around me --- like I am invisible.

There are times, however, when I find you looking at me and you seem to have this funny look in your eye and I don't know how to read it. Are you weighing me, maybe? Or are you just trying to figure me out? Do I have a smudge on my nose? Is my shirt on backwards? Did I say something out of line earlier? What is it?

I don't know how to place myself with you. I'd love to have a better friendship with you than we currently have. I wish you would vocalize your thoughts so that I am not left guessing. It is unsettling to think I may have done something to offend you.

A part of me hopes that you like me ... just the thought of the possibility makes me smile. And yet, with all the questions going around --- questions about your marital status and sexual preference, to name a few --- I find myself hesitant to intrude into your life.

I figure, if you want me to know that much about you, you wouild let me know yourself. I will not ask you or believe in the gossip. Oftentimes we find malicious people behind gossip anyway, so it isn't really worth listening to.

What I feel for you is so far undefined. I don't know if I will ever define it beyond --- a very strong attraction.

You are beautiful and witty (when you choose to speak) and you can be charming. I know I am not your type and that's ok. It doesn't bother me that much. A lot of men I find attractive seem not to care for my looks (and height) so it really isn't anything new.

I won't lie ... I'm a trifle lonely and possibly affection-starved.

Friends, I have a few. Acquaintances, more than I can count. As for flirtations --- I've hit a brick wall.

I've found that flirting is fulfilling and does not necessarily lead to sexual intimacy. I just like it for the game. Sometimes I like to feel beautiful and sexy. I haven't felt either way in a long, long, time.